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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848329">This Mask I Wear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinHermione/pseuds/SlytherinHermione'>SlytherinHermione</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, Death Eaters, F/M, Good Severus Snape, Happy Ending, Manip Art, Masks, Masquerade, Masquerade Ball, Occlumency (Harry Potter), POV Draco Malfoy, QuinTalon's For the Love of Fests, QuinTalon's Masquerade Mini-fest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:09:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848329</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinHermione/pseuds/SlytherinHermione</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This mask I wear feels cool on my skin.<br/>I slip it on, and the act is ready to begin.</p>
<p>Safety. Protection. Freedom.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Masquerade</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This Mask I Wear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another month, another inspiring fest thrown by our formidable <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuinTalon">QuintTalon</a>!! </p>
<p>This months theme is Masquerade.</p>
<p>This time a sentence came to me first, then the story and art!! </p>
<p>Lastly, a lot of love and thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbonofsunshine">ribbonofsunshine</a> for the beta help!! 💚💚💚</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy 💚</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>This mask I wear feels cool on my skin. </p>
<p>I slip it on, and the act is ready to begin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Safety. Protection. Freedom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <b>Safety.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can’t find my mask. Where is it? <em> Bloody hell. </em> I have to run back to my room. Frantically, I take down the wards I used to seal my room. As I open the door I see it lying on the bed. Its empty eyes stare back at me, but I welcome the pitch black gaze of my Death Eater mask. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Fuck</em>. I’m so stressed. Scared. I can’t think straight anymore. I pick the mask up with trembling hands. As I put it on, I feel a sense of calm finally wash over me. Like a security blanket. Now they can’t see my face -- not my enemies nor my allies. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The enemies that are in my house. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The allies that don’t know I’m on their side. If they only knew. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don’t want this. I don’t want to be on this side of a senseless war, my name spewed alongside real murderers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have to fight though, for my mother. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But also for <em> her -- </em>the proof that this war is senseless. Because her blood runs as pure as mine, her magic is Might, her mind as sharp as the knife that carved a lie onto her arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So now, the mask allows me to act as the villain so that I can protect like a hero.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This mask is my safety.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>We apparate to Hogwarts because our informants say that Harry Potter was seen roaming the halls. The Dark Lord wants the war to be won tonight. My job is to make sure that he loses. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Dark Lord cannot win, I don’t have a back-up plan for keeping her safe if the war is won by the tyrants. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But I have my mask. I instill fear into the younger Order fighters; they scatter, hide, go on high alert. <em> Good</em>. I’ve fired up your autonomic nervous system. Fight or flight -- the enemy that comes after me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Learning Muggle science to spite my father was the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s saved my life more than once. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Walking through Hogwarts, I only have one goal in mind. Find Granger and keep her safe. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> There she is.  </em>
</p>
<p>I have to stop even though the battle is raging around me. How can I not? How have I not seen her before? Really <em> seen </em>her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s the beauty of magic. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When it’s so strong that it ventures out from the familiar, and finds a soul in a world without magic. Brings it into the fray. Because that soul is so beautiful that magic can’t live without it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Hermione Granger. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I put on this mask for her. Mother wanted me to run, but how could I? So I did the one thing I knew would help the Order to win. I fight from the inside. Severus helped me, trained me in Occlumency. Dumbledore told me of his imminent death. But I could not divulge my secret. <em> Our secrets.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now Dumbledore is dead. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The fight seems to go on a fast reel, suddenly the Dark Lord’s voice is calling for the surrender of Harry Potter. I go to the sidelines. I refuse to stand with the Death Eaters, but my mask is still on, and I can’t show myself yet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Where is Severus?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dead!? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> No.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My friend... The only one left that knew my true allegiance. Fear grips my stomach.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Hermione</em>? What are you doing here, walking towards me?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I stand still as a statue as you approach me. You gently remove my mask as people are searching for Potter. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wait, he left? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My mask is off and your soulful eyes see me. Really <em> see </em>me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod at you and gently take my mask back, slip it on, and we walk out to the courtyard. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Together. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No one is looking at us because Harry is dead. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ringing in my ears. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thoughts running through my head, the rivers and the lakes turning into waterfalls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then chaos reigns, Harry is running towards the Dark Lord. Where is his wand? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My legs carry me at a speed beyond my capabilities as I near him and throw my wand to him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nothing to protect her with, but I find her and fight with my hands, all of my strength. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s over. I can finally take my mask off.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Protection.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have much to thank Severus Snape for. He listened to me when I was alone, afraid, questioning everything I’ve been taught. He told me he once made the wrong choice, and he paid the price of losing love. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Severus also gave me the one weapon I can use now, as the eyes stare daggers, the words hitting the softest spots. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Occlumency. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I slip it on like a mask, “Think of still waters, of lakes and oceans, of rivers that flow, but seem to sit still,” he said with a drawl. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I slip it on like a mask, “Never forget that the storms are still raging on the rolling seas, but beneath the surface, that’s where the calm is, and that is where you are,” he said with a whisper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I slip it on like a mask, “Allowing your emotions to show Draco, that can be the difference between life and death. Under the raging ocean skin, you can scream and cry and <em> feel</em>, but never allow anyone under the surface, <em> do you understand Draco? </em>” he said with an urgency that made my blood run cold. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This mask takes me through the post-war trial. Potter spoke on my behalf, Weasley too. Granger held my hand as they announced my freedom. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I wanted to take the mask off, but every time I go outside there is so much hatred, how can I not slip under the water of a lazy stream? Let it carry me away to the ocean where they can never reach the same depth as me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear Hermione talking, “Draco, I know you’re using your Occlumency,” she’s touching my cheek, ”but you’re safe now, you can come back to the surface,” her eyes searching, having to look deep to find my heart. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it’s not there silly girl. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Draco, some people wear their history like a map on their face, but you seem to have no history at all. Don’t let that be your legacy, when your history is one of <em> wonders</em>. What courage it must’ve taken to wander the seas on your own, fighting against everything you’ve known, just because in your <em> soul </em>you knew it was wrong. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You saved many lives while risking your own, staying with the Death Eaters, behind your Death Eater mask.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s while she’s talking about leaving a legacy, that I start swimming towards the surface. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s while she mentions the word <em> soul</em>, as if mine is worth anything, that I enter the ocean’s sunlight zone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s while she gives me her heart, that I finally break the waves.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Freedom.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look into the mirror as I adjust my fly and smooth out the tuxedo. Steeling myself with a deep breath, I pick the mask up with steady hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As I slip it on, I feel a sense of calm wash over me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This mask is freedom. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I allow the happiness seep into my bones, - I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this light. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The feeling lingers as I walk out into the crowd, the festivities in full swing around me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There she is, among the happy crowd. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As I walk towards her, people move around me, passing me like an endless stream, but she’s the delta. The place where the river ends. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She walks up to me, stands in front of me. I can see her beautiful, soulful eyes sparkling with love and joy and life and freedom. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She slips off her mask and gives me a blinding smile as it slips through her fingers, the crimson feathers settling on the ground. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She reaches up towards my face and my breath catches as she slowly removes my golden mask that meets its fate next to the crimson. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Freedom. No more masks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Freedom. In her kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for coming to my little corner, I hope you liked it! 💚</p>
<p>Kudos and comments are appreciated 💚</p>
<p>Much love!</p>
<p>"...some people wear their history like a map on their face" - Noah and the Whale</p></blockquote></div></div>
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